Golden.

Michael K must wake up every day and say a prayer to Prince Harry, because he's basically writing sweet poetry lately. On that girl who came forward to talk about making out with Harry:

"I can't with the dumbasses who got coked up at that party and didn't keep their heads as clear as possible to fully take in all of the ginger hotness. I can't with the paid hooker whore who didn't find a way to drag PHG to the nearest chapel to have a quickie royal wedding with him. And I really can't with this Carrie trick. There she was alone with a naked PHG and all she did was make out with his tongue?! They'd have to bring in the British Army, Scotland Yard, every bobby in London town and several priests to try pry me off of his naked ass. They wouldn't be able to do it. The Queen herself could beat me in the back with her pocketbook and I still wouldn't move. We'd immediately be conjoined (at the crotch) twins and I don't think even surgery would pull us apart. But yet, this Carrie trick kisses him for a few minutes and then just flutters away?

Why is Carrie talking to The Mirror, anyway? Hell, why is Carrie talking at all? Bitch should've had her tongue shellacked to preserve the PHG saliva drops. This bitch is a disgrace to two nations!"

True.

 

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