Review: Mindy Kaling’s “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” and music, because why not?


I loved the pants off this book. It made me so happy.

It's a memoir, albeit written by an accomplished young woman who has mostly had nice things happen in her life and who makes her living writing comedy. Also, she's a little silly, pretty ambitious, and very awkward (I knew there HAD to be a term for what she calls an Irish Exit). So, that's what's on the page. It's refreshing and just…nice to read a nonfiction book about a woman that isn't tragic, but also isn't fluffy nonsense about the three outfits that will change my life. And she even loves her job! It was inspiring, as a writer, and also as a woman (omg, feminist tear). 

There were so many little bits of this book that I read five times over just to feel the satisfaction of someone agreeing with me about things that I'm sort of embarrassed to think. For example, she goes into how those zeitgeisty articles about relationships always make her cry ('train your boyfriend like a dog!', 'a key party saved my marriage!') because "this wretched little magazine article has helped convinced more open-minded liberal arts graduates that the nuclear family doesn't exist without some hideous twist, like the dad is allowed to go to an S&M dungeon once a week or something. It makes me cry because it means fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship." It was also nice to hear someone else say that it's really tiresome the way some married people always talk about how much work relationships are, as if they just invented marriage. Is 'work' really that bad? "We seem to get so gloomily worked up about [marriage] these days," she says. We expect so much of our romantic relationships. All Mindy wants is a pal. All I want is to shake her hand.

I don't know that we would be friends in real life, though. There's a whole section about Mindy's rules for best friendom, like that friends should share clothing and that if on vacation the bed is large enough, sleeping together is superior insofar as it provides the opportunity to talk till you fall asleep. She's so cute, but also really weird to me. Like some rules I was down with 100%, and others I was like "hell no, bitch." Maybe it's because I'm foreign? If I had rules for good friendship, they would be like:

1-Under no circumstance should you ever invite yourself over to someone's home or party. If someone hasn't invited you to their get-together it isn't for a really mundane reason like that they forgot to because you're not the center of their universe. It's because they actively do no want you there.

2-Never lend anyone anything if you can avoid it. Not pens in class and for the love of God not clothing. People never return anything, and if they do, you will catch a fungus and die. Don't ask to borrow things. The exception to this is books, which are public property, obviously.

3-Only ask for favors in life and death situations. Even then, you should always try throwing money at the problem. Ex: You are bleeding to death because you lost a foot (don't ask me why, I'm not the irresponsible one who lost a foot). You would like to ask a friend to use their shirt as a tourniquet. First, ask to pay for their shirt. Then, pass out from blood loss as you try to tie said shirt onto your own stump, Stumpy. Finally, accept help.

A subsection of this rule is that you must bring everything everywhere, because God forbid you have to ask someone for a kleenex or an umbrella or a snack. If you're ever hungry, you will always have a Lorna Doone airplane brownie that's been sitting in your purse for three months. Mmmm, chocolate flavored dust.

None of these rules apply to people you're related to, even if you consider them your friends. By the way, Dad, can I borrow a plane ticket home?

You're probably expecting me to say that these rules seem unreasonable and curmudgeonly now that I've written them down. 

Anyway, Mindy Kaling is hilarious, and I'm so happy she wrote a book to supplement her twitter feed, which I am always reading, even though I'm not on twitter, because ew. Gross.

And now for music! I recently listened to Andrew Bird's new album…"Lazy Projector" is my favorite song from it (it's like halfway down this page…no, I can't embed it…what do I look like, some kind of witch? oh, now we're in a fight). Did you know it was written for the Muppets movie?



3 thoughts on “Review: Mindy Kaling’s “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” and music, because why not?

  1. april

    in regards to #2, i am so glad you said books were okay as i STILL have your copy of “hot water” for going-on 3 years. best friend ever!!

  2. Ana

    oh, april, at this point you are basically like family. i am pretty sure i have invited myself over to your house on more than one occasion. these rules are for regular people.
    Rule #4- if you have seen someone throw up, they count as family.


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